Creativity

I knew that going on WWW might not work out excellently. Everyone knew that. I’m autistic. I hate change, unfamiliar situations and sensory information. But, I still went on it. I blame my inherently optimistic personality.

One of the main reasons I went on WWW was because I wanted to collect leeches. I’m an aspiring hirudinologist and I needed leeches for my extended essay so this was a perfect opportunity. I may have also slightly wanted to delve into a fantasy of being a researcher in the field too. Just slightly. And I got to! So that was fun!

So day 1 – we went to the Mulgirigala temple which was interesting and tiring.

I move way slower than everyone else is also something I learned.

Day 2 – we went to Sithulpawwa which was also interesting and then it started raining midway. BUT – I did find a giant termite hill.

Day 3 – We arrived at the Rainforest Ecolodge and then there was a fish spa walk in the evening which I respectfully declined to take part in (recognizing my limits!)

Day 4 – I left.

WWW was by no means, terrible. It was fun and I did things that I usually wouldn’t do. But it did bring up stuff about me that I had a relatively hard time dealing with.

Like how I feel about being called ‘special’. Special or in sinhala, ‘vishesha’ in Sri Lanka is a synonym for disabled, specifically intellectual or learning disabilities. It’s not an insult (it’s meant to be a more positive way of describing disabilities) nor does it have malicious intent behind it but it can be an easy way to describe someone who has uh, other needs. Like it’s easier to say don’t do anything loud because she’s a special child and doesn’t like it than to say she has autism and experiences sensory sensitivities. But the thing with ‘special’ is that it is an umbrella term and people often assume that someone who’s labeled as special is intellectually disabled, cannot understand etc. Which is why I dislike the term. However, when I’m upset or in unfamiliar situations, I don’t generally correct people on this. I find it hard to speak to people, much less correct them but it’s just something I wanted to bring up as it happened occasionally on the trip itself.

Of course, I’d rather someone consider me special than disregard my needs entirely but I feel like this is something that needs a bit more awareness?

It also highlighted how there’s definitely more room for representation in terms of neurodevelopmental disorders in society. Mr Ravi had recommended “The Good Doctor” a while ago and while I disagree with how realistic it is in terms of “there’s absolutely no way that Shaun would have gotten into medical school, much less a hospital in real life – technical standards exist, they’re outdated but they exist”, it’s still nice to see someone with autism in a respected position.

Of course, there’s still the question of how I am recognized as disabled when autism is supposed to be an invisible disability but overall, WWW was fun! Involved more introspection that I initially thought but still fun!

When I look back on the DP Orientation trip, one of the first things that come to my mind is how absolutely terrified I was. The strange thing is, I wasn’t scared on the days leading up to it but once we parked at Borderlands, my only thought was “What did I get myself into?”. Because a fundamental truth about me is that I’m clumsy. If I don’t watch where I’m going, I trip over myself on flat ground. I was terrified of falling off a cliff and into an abyss which sounds unlikely but it could happen. Besides, “getting back up” isn’t an option if your trajectory is the worst possible coincidence and ends up with being the perfect one that lands you at the foot of a hill with traumatic brain injury. 

This was a problem since most of the trip centered on hiking up a hill and then rappelling off in an ultimate show of bravery. So with an annoyingly incessant voice telling me “You’re going to die.”, I began climbing up. The trip up wasn’t an easy one. It took me way longer than the others and I may have had to ask for help once or twice. Actually, repeatedly and incessantly. 

But once we got to a high enough height, the view was amazing. Then the other kids tried rappelling. An activity I respectfully declined to partake in considering well, if humans were meant to jump off heights, we would have evolved to have wings or at least a flexible spinal cord. 

I also had an ulterior motive, I was looking for leeches. I had a small obsession with leeches when I was younger. Anyway, I needed to get one to feed on me but with my knowledge and consent as I am anemic enough already and I refuse to let a leech feed on me without getting entertainment value out of it. So I got my wish on the last day but things went a bit off plan. You see, any sane leech would start feeding once it’s placed on a perfectly good patch of skin, right? However, natural selection apparently passed over this leech as instead of feeding, it was hellbent on exploring. This would have been fine but then it tried going up my sleeve. I realize that it’s not even from the same habitat NOR the genus but I suddenly remembered everything I’ve read about limnatis nilotica and panicked, (google limnatis nilotica infestation. You’ll see what I mean).  Thus, it had to be removed.

In retrospect, I regret it. But the leech lost its chance to feed on me. I could have sustained it for six months give or take but that’s what happened. Either way, it was enjoyable and a highlight.

It was also nice to get to know other students. 

So while hiking up a hill may not be equal to rappelling, that’s a really big fear of mine that I conquered on this trip and thus, I declare it successful.