For music, Mr. Kim, our music teacher is forcing us outside of our comfort box to perform a song in front of a live audience. I chose the song ‘Strange’ by Celeste. I had always viewed singing as self-humiliation but this taught me that it doesn’t have to be. I got used to being on stage, and as much as I was so happy when it was over, I am happy to do it again.
This past summer, I became an unofficial real estate agent for the US Embassy in Colombo. I got an internship in the GSO section. GSO stands for “General Services Office”. And the job description is pretty much exactly what you do. General Services. I had to wear proper work clothes, which was fun.
I enjoyed a lot, numerous, way too many meetings. I visited many houses that I had found online, looking to increase the housing pool number. I worked on my how professional writing skills as I and wrote up reports on the houses. Additionally, I reviewed Embassy members’ housing concerns (you would be shocked to know some of those), and led Final Walkthroughs for houses that are awaiting new arrivals. Other, more pressing matters, included discussing money issues with partners such as the Shangri La Hotel, and terminating a property contract we had started no more than two years previous.
I both enjoyed and excelled in the workplace. I was able to create my own rhythmic schedule and thus, with this freedom, I used the Embassy gym everyday, ate really good cafeteria food, and attended Zumba classes. I visited my parents in their offices from time to time. I got very used to the Embassy community and my coworkers and I was sad to leave at the end of summer. I will miss my amazing colleagues who were so dedicated to their work and my boss who treated me like a real employee and taught me so much about the professional world. It was truly a great experience and I would love to do it again.
Edit: Recently the team and I went to lunch to catch up. I hadn’t realized how much I missed them!
Recently, I presented a Ted talk called “How Not To Grieve”. Our school was doing their first annual Ted Talk event. I’ve seen plenty of Ted Talks but to write one was another story.
The amount of creative freedom I had was almost overwhelming. I chose a hard topic. One I had to curate perfectly. Grief is one of those things that is a hit or miss with most people. Either you get it or you don’t. I wanted it to affect someone. I wanted to make my audience feel something. I think I accomplished that in one way or another.
Interestingly enough, my self-confidence plummeted the second I walked on stage. The following is a list of what not to do when presenting a Ted Talk.
You can tell I’m shook with fear in this image. I was underprepared. I scrambled my way through it somehow still earning words of encouragement as I stepped off the stage.
I thought it was a disaster. I was disappointed in myself and my work ethic.
Alas, I later learned that my speech was valued, and by people I didn’t even know. There were some tears in the audience. There were people who walked up to me and mentioned how moved they were. I realize now that I said something powerful even if the execution was less than adequate for my standards.
My biggest takeaway? Not to criticize myself. Not to beat myself up. I was awarded and praised by the people around me. It may not have been my best work, but it called to people and that’s all I could ever ask for.
Attraction has become based on expectations. The root of our physical insecurities emerge from comparison. We don’t feel enough, yet we don’t admit we feel this way. Because that’s uncomfortable.
I’m producing my first song. Finally. It’s around the third song I’ve ever written, yet not my favorite. I wrote this song around two months ago but finally finalized the lyrics over winter break. I plan on performing it during the spring gala, which gives me a deadline to shoot for.
Considering the fact that I was not gifted with great vocal cords, I’m going to ask if someone else would sing it for me. I already have someone in mind, their voice would sound absolutely perfect singing it. It’s a little depressing knowing that I can’t even sing my own song but I’ve learned to become ok with that. I play drums and guitar, so performance wise, I’ll be the background. So, a comfortable distance for me.
Pretty, the song I wrote means more than words to me. It describes perfectly the unachievable physical standards made by society and how that destroys the ego of men and women around the world. I think it tells us what needs to be said about the human experience. Especially when it comes to validating the feeling of not feeling enough.
I plan to release it on Spotify and Apple Music.
