Pretty

Attraction has become based on expectations. The root of our physical insecurities emerge from comparison. We don’t feel enough, yet we don’t admit we feel this way. Because that’s uncomfortable. 

I’m producing my first song. Finally. It’s around the third song I’ve ever written, yet not my favorite. I wrote this song around two months ago but finally finalized the lyrics over winter break. I plan on performing it during the spring gala, which gives me a deadline to shoot for. 

Considering the fact that I was not gifted with great vocal cords, I’m going to ask if someone else would sing it for me. I already have someone in mind, their voice would sound absolutely perfect singing it. It’s a little depressing knowing that I can’t even sing my own song but I’ve learned to become ok with that. I play drums and guitar, so performance wise, I’ll be the background. So, a comfortable distance for me. 

Pretty, the song I wrote means more than words to me. It describes perfectly the unachievable physical standards made by society and how that destroys the ego of men and women around the world. I think it tells us what needs to be said about the human experience. Especially when it comes to validating the feeling of not feeling enough.
I plan
to release it on Spotify and Apple Music. 

 

The process of songwriting is a very bipolar and vulnerable one.

Rough Introductions

As a society we put so much significance on school. On grades, on what university we are going to. We measure value by who’s the smartest, who’s the best, who is getting a business degree. But that’s ridiculous because nobody’s identity is ‘school’. Everybody has a life outside of this big competition. We all have relationships, dreams and ambitions that have nothing to do with being successful because I think to everyone, success is defined differently. 

And I hate that students around the world suffer so much to be the exception. To be that one percent that goes to Harvard. But we are so much more outside of that label. And we don’t give ourselves the chance to be. That is what this blog is for. It is to share the person I am outside of school, grades, and things other people will tell you. 

This post is called ‘Rough Introductions’. So here are three things about myself that I know as of right now. And that’s very little.

Mi Quinceañera

The first thing you should know about me is that I come from a Latin American heritage. But what does that even mean? It’s conflicting really, something I’m discovering. I’m starting to realize they don’t like each other too much, the Mexican and American sides of myself. I wouldn’t categorize it as an identity crisis, but something I’m discovering in little bits and pieces when I have the time. 

Second, I’m a songwriter but an odd one because I lack a good voice to sing. I like to think that if I had the voice, and maybe played better guitar, I’d be one of those teen idols you see in those interviews with Jimmy Fallon. But that’s probably stretching it.  

Lastly, I’ve wanted to join the military ever since I could comprehend the idea of what it even was. My dad was a Marine and raised me like one. But then my mom, a veteran too, was deployed for almost a year when I was 7, and that experience taught me a lot about what I actually don’t want for my children. The military gives and the military takes. And at a young age, the military as an institution was one of the only things that felt like home. So I talked to some recruiters about enlisting recently, but got rejected for medical reasons. And it blew me apart. Who was I without the possibility of it? Alas, I continue to figure that out. But I think I know now that I don’t need to risk my life for my country to prove something (thank you Casey). 

But it’s what literally brought me into to this life. The military. So I am forever in debt to it. 

“With the lights out it’s less dangerous” – Working With Victims of Trafficking

Today I was going to come on here and write an opinion piece complaining about the lack of institutions put in place to save victims from trafficking and how the common mindset in America right now is ‘if we don’t see it it’s not happening’, which is absolutely false. I fell down a rabbit hole of unnecessary research and it spiked a fury in me I have only experienced in bit sized portions before.

This global catastrophe gets less attention than it deserves, like so many others, and I am incredibly mad about it. One of the main reasons, according to a former employee of US Child Protection Services that I talked to, said “it’s because we get paid dirt”. So I looked it up and of course the average salary of an CPS officer per year is $21,500 – $23,499. So then why does the average NBA player get $8.5 million a year? Where does this tell us our priorities are?… Just a thought.

So, frustrated, it finally came to my attention that I could do something. I looked up the top organizations that USAID in Colombo works with and I found a few. I have contacted them and started discussing the ways I can help through service. Plans are being finalized, and I am not as upset anymore.

SAISA Volleyball 2022

Being new to OSC, I was unfamiliar with what the term SAISA meant. SAISA officially stands for South Asian Inter-Scholastic Association, which is an association of international schools in South Asia that compete against each other in athletics. People who make SAISA sport teams get to travel to countries around Asia to compete with other schools. I had the chance of doing this for volleyball recently.

It was an amazing experience. I met many new people and really bonded with my coach and team. Though the tournament was stressful and the stakes were high… I will definitely be doing it again.

Here are some pictures: